I have always wanted to have that one person I could tell every feeling every mood and every thought to, that special person the wouldn’t judge me and just want to listen to my sad, happy and frustrated days that best friend that would save me from sitting in my own head, to just be there. That person would comfort me when I cryed hugged me when I wanted to fall apart. Caught me when I fell picked me up afterward so I could show the same respect back. All I ever wanted was that one best friend but I never got it. I ended up with most friends bailing on me, running away cause they couldn’t deal with my pain, couldnt deal with my hectic life, they just never could understand how hard it really is to be me. But in the end that’s ok, I never expected them to.

(via kill-everrybody-deactivated2012)

i miss you when im breathing, this isn’t no ordinary feeling, i wish you were coming back to me , ill be waiting here for you, its you that’s keeping me alive its your memory that keeps me standing. its days like today when i wish i was still be able to see you, its days like today i want u back its day like today i want you to help me to decide what is right and wrong cause i don’t no the difference anymore. its days like today to help me decide if i need these people in my life. its moments like this just to be around you. it weeks like this i would always have someone to run back to . its days like these i just had someone to save me from this struggle and pain. its days like this i want to run away with you for the day to get about form this bullshit that surrounds me. its moments like the ones where we could ignore everyone for one day and don’t exist for one day so no body knows where we are just to be, be together without the hassle from everyone around us, i want to scream out for you, i just want to be happy next to you i want to sing i want to shout i want to scream till the words dry out. im not afraid to say how much i love you to say how much i miss you to say how much they have hurt me to say how much im not scared of the way they want to treat me im not scared if i don’t have them in my life anymore, im not scared to have to make new friends to have to keep away form this town. im not afraid they can treat me the way they want i don’t care anymore, they cant bring me down anymore they cant make me suffer the way they want to. because im stronger then they thought, what they say or do will not affect me anymore cause u thought me how to stand up form myself and to show im not a weakling to show im stronger than anyone could imagine, that im  better then they are if all they want to do is bring me down , because of you im not scared of what they have to say anymore. im not what u want me to be, you cant hurt me anymore. thanks to you bodie you made me relaise alot about my self because of you im stronger because f you i am who i am today. i love you.

How much loner can i take this bullshit of a life, how much longer can i deal with the fucked up shit, i don’t even know how to count how many times i have fucked up shit happen to me.

<3

It dosnt really matter what u say to me that you think hurts me cause im already in enough pain to feel your bullshit again, how did i know you were going to turn around and do it all again. nothing you say or do can hurt me anymore. you are pathetic girl with no life, where you think everything has to revolve around you cause cant be left out of anything. you have to be center of attention all the time but fuck no one cares alot about you at all, you need to figure out that no everyone thinks of you not everybody wants to be you, no one really cares about what u want or what u need cause u fucked it the first time, you need to know that that one boy that u have always wanted has never wanted you and never will want you he dosnt  WANT YOU. you lie to my face you lie to everyone face, i look to back cause u told me i could trust you, i took you back cause i needed you, tell u what tho, i never needed you i needed the normal you. you sit there and bitch and vent about someone but when they are around you stick your finger right up there ass like u never said it then u come and abuse me cause u know i no the truth.  how can u say your truth is better then mine, shoulder to shoulder we no longer carry each others heart,   i gave u all, i gave u all and you rip it from my hands, and you swear its all gone, and u rip out all i have , just to say that u have won, close your eyes for a while , force from the world a patient smile.  don’t forget this was your decision, don’t forget you chose this. hope you don’t change your mind anytime soon cause i have made mine up now. im sorry that it has come to this. im sorry u chose this path of yours im sorry for your pain u try and hide in side that i can see u try to hide i know its there and so do you. i hope u know no longer will i be there no longer will u have to see me again no longer will i have to be in your precious way of making yourself noticed i will no longer be that girl who always wanted to disappear cause im already gone. i will no longer be that girl u always were always jealous of cause im not longer going to be apart of our life. i will no longer be there to help you i will no longer make any contribution to your life. ill no longer be there. its now your turn to work out what u want from life its now your turn to figure it all out. your turn now.

<3

(via jessikaaamareee)

i need a hero desperately to save me from this sadness that lingers around me and the loneliness i feel inside to save me form the suffering and pain of everything around me. to help me through these days to take me to a better day. where nothing goes wrong ever again. where everything is perfect and everything is right where it should be and nothing can hurt anymore anymore. i need a hero just to take me away to a better place, take me to the place where i belong where i can just be.  to a place where every loved one lost has come back to stop the suffering the pain the hurt the sleepless nights. i want a hero to save me through these days just a little guide or push to help me through to no what to do till i no what to do again.  any hero will do to help me through. take me away to a better place please. any hero’s will do. thanks. <3